From the Daily Candy files (a few days ago). This is why I can say I'm happy to be married!! But they made me laugh anyways. Enjoy!
"The late-night texter. The artful check dodger. Señor Crabs. Sometimes dating simply strikes you speechless. We thought we’d help.
bed-doomed adj. The condition a couple faces when there’s no spark in the bedroom. (Mark and I always have the best conversations, but we’re completely bed-doomed to be friends.)
dateorade n. The hookup that tides you over during a drought; a date on which you go, just to refuel and get back on the field.
mandoff n. The act of setting up a close friend with an ex-lover.
missionary impossible n. A position that is sure to lead nowhere.
significant otherwise n. A person with whom you date and/or sleep because he/she is better than a certain alternative. (No, he isn’t the most attentive lover, but I’d rather him than that commodities trader who lives with his mom.)
sintercourse n. When you just know it’s wrong. (Generally hot.)
tryst and pout n. Enjoyable, often spontaneous, intercourse followed by bitterness over disagreeable traits in your lover. (Often the result of sleeping with an ex.)
vibraider n. Someone who steals the batteries from the TV remote in order to power her, um, personal massager.
yentally challenged adj. Characteristic of a matchmaker who’s constantly setting you up with people with whom you have nothing in common. (Sweetie, I love you, but you’re yentally challenged if you think it’s going to happen with Brad.)
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