Can I Take It Back?

Last winter it sounded like the best idea in the world. Today, I couldn't think of anything worse! But it's out there, and I don't think I can take it back without a fight I frankly don't have the energy for.

Last spring, I found out that I would be traveling to LA for a business trip end of this month (Oct). I thought "How perfect! I can fly the family down after my meeting and we can go to Disneyland!!" Like I said, it sounded great then.

Now it's time to make the final arrangements, pay the dough, pack and go and really - it sounds like torture. I'm the one who makes all the travel arrangements and who plans all of our trips. I'm over it. I also know that we just bought a duplex and made an offer on a 4-plex. What's another $3000 for Disney compared to half a mil in real estate?!? Let me tell you - we could use that dough to bail ourselves out cause I happen to know the government is a little strapped right now.

So Myron actually came up with a brilliant plan - I could still take the time off, we could do Halloween stuff and trick-or-treating here and then head south to the Great Wolf Lodge and spend two whole days in the water park there. Cost would be 1/10 of Disney, our kids love the water and it could be something totally new. Well, they didn't go for it. I'd been hyping this trip up all year and now they are hangin' on tight to the Dream.

"Wasn't Silverwood, the Puyallup Fair, Remlinger Farms and all the other times we went on rides this year enough???"

"Nope - Disney is the funnest."

"But we could do trick or treating here and get lots of candy - your favorite!"

"Well, we have leftover candy anyway and you always buy more."

"Disney is expensive - we could save money and have fun in the water."

"You can work more to get more money."

I stopped there cause I was about to have a breakdown.

So I think we're off the Disney at the end of the month. Just wish I could take it back!

I LOVE Cruising!

This is the ship I definitely want to go on! Wonder how much we are going to have to save to travel on this beast. But it is so cool. Ah......someday.......

Last Days Of School

I don't know who is more excited about these last days of school - the kids or me! No other year has been more hectic, calendar busting, task list making, or busier than this without a break and I can truly say that I am so glad summer vacation is almost here. I am trying really hard to slow down and make the most of the next 10 weeks until school starts again ... but 10 weeks seems so short when spring weather hasn't even arrived yet!

Mac has 10 full weeks of summer camps - everything from Adventuring including Geocaching to Jump Rope Camp, Hip Hop Camp, Singing/Acting Camp, Karate Camp and Cheer Camp with some POM and swimming lessons sprinkled in there. Julian's summer will be at LFPM still, but he has graduated from Pre-school and is in the same class with the 5 year olds. He will have a good experience too with some time in Chelan with the grandparents and we have 2 weeks of camping vacation planned - Silverwood, ID and Cannon Beach, OR with a side trip to Ohanapecosh (Mt Rainier).

Still, I do wish that I had summer vacation too. 10 weeks of sun and fun, no responsibilities, being with friends and just goofing off sounds divine. My kids know they have it good ... Mac says all the time that she wants to stay a kid and that she doesn't want to grow up. I always wanted to grow up faster when I was young, but she knows she's lucky and that these are the good days.

And as usual, we really want to get outside more, get together with friends and just really chill out. Will this be the year we can do that? Will this be the year that I learn how to make a really mean Cosmo? Do I have it in me to keep the to do list at bay for 10 full weeks? How many laughs with friends can I get? We need to finish painting and re-doing the bedrooms on the main floor, but could that be the only project we do - and can we do it leisurely without pressure?!? We'll see I guess.

Here's to 10 weeks of trying to relax and have fun - maybe I can take a page from my kid's book, huh!

Monday, Monday

I have the Monday blues. I have had the Monday blues ever since I started working for others. I never had these feelings when I worked for myself at INternational SITES. And I don't know anyone who works for themselves to have the blues, at least not often.

What is it about having to "go to work" that is so depressing?

For me, it's the lack of control over the schedule, having to be sitting in an office for a determined number of hours rather than able to control my schedule and how I operate daily. It's turning over control of my time to so many others. It's about having others controlling my actions most of the day, every day. I do stuff for employees, clients, bosses - nothing I do is for me. It doesn't nourish my soul, and most of the time, doesn't challenge my brain. It's just so unproductive for my taste. Ughhhh!

What I want is a paid sabbatical or to win the lottery (yes, I do play). I've been working non-stop since I was 17 years old (that's 27 years for those of you counting). I took only very brief leaves of absence with each of my two kids and only my full vacation times in the last few years and the word 'tired' is quite appropriate. So queue the dream ripple and let's take a walk down the dreamy path of "what if" ...

What if I had the freedom of time and money?! What would be my ultimate lifestyle?

I'd take time to get my house in order - organizing, cleaning out, increasing the efficiency and fun factor in our house. I'd start our main living space remodel and get a working stovetop and replace my easy bake oven.
I'd have my kids home right after school, spending more time with them and getting more involved in their lives (arrange more playdates, and yes, getting involved in the PTA and/or School District).
I'd spend more time with my hubbie, acting on some of our dreams to get projects into production and just plain connect more with each other - something that gets tested and challenged and squeezed out by the fact of having little kids to tend to .
I'd really get Dosha Group off the ground, too. Services for all small business owners who need help to live their visions and their own ultimate lifestyle. I'd be able to follow up on some of those great leads I already have and help others in a really meaningful way.
I'd travel with my family. I had the tremendous advantage when I was younger to have two parents working in the airline industry when perks were really worth it. I grew up in Switzerland and we travelled to so many wonderful places - China, Hong Kong, Phillipines, India, all over Europe and many US States, and I got an incredible education in global awareness during these travels. I want the same for my kids - there's really nothing like experiencing first hand the beauty and wonder of other countries. Ours is great, but the world has so much to offer!
I'd try to find a way to make a living from vacationing. It's really my favorite thing to do!
I'd pick up a hobby - something creative, most likely something to do with pictures and video.
I'd definitely spend more time with friends! My spirit aches for lack of real connection with my friends and I haven't been able to give any time to creating new connections.
I'd learn many things. I'd take classes from as many places as I could find, on so many subjects that I've wanted to learn about.
I'd have really fun and possibly helpful things to blog about, cause I'd spend at least an hour a day finding those perfect nuggets of knowledge to pass on.
I'd become more technologically savvy - finding a way to use all the gadgets we own and make the most out of them.
And I'd workout every day. This one may have to be moved to the very top of the list - and it can't wait until I have more time or money ... If I don't do something soon, I know I will spend precious time regretting that I didn't start sooner. Focus on health would be a very top priority.

I'm sure I can find lots more to do, but these would most definitely make the list.

But back to reality and here I am, blogging and watching the 11 o'clock news, a pile of laundry on my bed and on the dining room table and the reminder that I have lots of big projects, deadlines and responsiblities sitting on my desk when I hit the office tomorrow morning.

I know I've opened the door to what I need to do and I will .. when I'm ready to make that leap. Until then, I'll have a few more bluesy Sundays to deal with.