Postcard From the Ordinary: No Supermom Here

OK - It's this kind fo media reporting and real life crap that just pushes me over the edge ... Supermom of 1 year old sextuplets runs marathon ... Do the rest of us really need that kind of pressure?

I already feel inadequate and guilty about whatever I am doing, or not. I am obviously a slacker and complainer. No sorry, I haven't run a marathon. Actually I've been paying monthly gym dues for the last 11 years but haven't set foot in one for the last 9 (the gyms have changed names twice but we have a great deal!) Six kids? Nope - have two too many on many days (I only have 2). Support system? Oh yes, Grey (Goose) and Mike (Hard Lemonade) are always near to help me through.

Latest achievements ... can't really think of any off the top of my head which is about to explode with a gajillion to do's - none of which include any good ideas about how to get myself out of this hamster wheel of work at work, work at home routine.

So good for you, Supermom! You deserve your slice of happiness pie. Just try to keep it to yourself next time.

Postcard From the Ordinary: Oscar Moments

I watched the Oscars tonight - sort of. I made dinner, too, and flipped between ABC and HGTV - salivating over super fab kitchens. I read blogs and tried to read a chapter of a book. I turned the sound off on acceptance speeches, but kept my eye on the screen. And yet I choked up so many times.

Now, I've never wanted to be an actress, nor have I ever wanted to be on the big screen. I did have a moment in theater, when I was a teenager, and it was so fun to be a part of the group, to have rehearsals, to fall in love and date the male lead (who also happened to be a real French count) and to perform in front of a crowd, although that's the part I truly don't remember. I always thought that my parents never came, but my mom said they did.

But I tear up at all the award shows, feeling sad and I generally have a little pity party for myself. I don't wish I was up there or in that industry - I tried that working with Myron a few times and I could NEVER hack it! But it's all about the passion that these people have for their craft, that they followed their dream and that they are reaping the ultimate reward for doing what they love. And that the winners are so darned happy, elated, can't even contain themselves with joy. And I've never experienced any of those emotions. As a matter of fact, when I watch all of this, I feel like I've never emoted in my whole life. I have not followed a dream - because I've not had one. I've achieved in many ways, but almost incidentally. And oddly enough, I've taken it for granted. Kinda like the saying "any club willing to have me as a member isn't worth joining" or something like that. My achievements pale in comparison to, well, just about anyone, really. There's the heroes of the day who put their life in danger to save another's, the business person who rose to top position by being smart, savvy and a good person, all of the people who do their jobs and are the very best at it and are recognized.

I just feel like a fraud. Not as smart as so many, not as talented, not as ambitious, not as passionate, not as committed, etc etc. Please don't think I'm angling for praise or reassurances - I'm not! I am at least fully aware of what I have done and that's what makes me ordinary. I know what I have done and what I have not yet done and I can't seem to get any internal motivation to achieve greatness. The thing I have to reconcile with myself is that I need to be OK being ordinary or take action otherwise ... just don't know how or what right now. So here's to all the Oscar winners - they deserve their moment for being great and I am truly happy for them.