Sunday, April 27, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
So so tired!
I can't really explain it. Nothing more than the usual crazyness. But lately I have been so tired! It's sapping my energy and my creativity. I just can't believe it's end of April and all those things I wanted to have done before summer are nowhere near being started, let alone finished. I am living one giant, never-ending to do list.
And tonight I'm feeling a bit guilty! McKenna spent all day playing with her best friend but had to come home at 6p for her basketball game. She was so sad that her playdate had to end that she went to her room, went to bed, covered her head and sobbed for quite a while. But then she told me her head hurt and she was tired. I told her that she still needed to go to the game and I did wake her up just 15 minutes into her nap and we went to the game. She cried all the way there, which is unusual for her - she hates for other people to see her cry. But I felt it was important to be there for her team and because they had a two hour practice last night I wanted her to apply the drills she learned before she forgot them. She played well, her friend showed up for a few minutes to see her play which brightened her smile for a while, but on our way home, she was quiet.
As soon as we got home, she changed into her jammies, laid down on the couch, did not even eat any dinner and went to sleep. She now I know that she really didn't feel good and I still made her go to her game. Not my proudest moment:(
And it all still makes me so very tired!
And tonight I'm feeling a bit guilty! McKenna spent all day playing with her best friend but had to come home at 6p for her basketball game. She was so sad that her playdate had to end that she went to her room, went to bed, covered her head and sobbed for quite a while. But then she told me her head hurt and she was tired. I told her that she still needed to go to the game and I did wake her up just 15 minutes into her nap and we went to the game. She cried all the way there, which is unusual for her - she hates for other people to see her cry. But I felt it was important to be there for her team and because they had a two hour practice last night I wanted her to apply the drills she learned before she forgot them. She played well, her friend showed up for a few minutes to see her play which brightened her smile for a while, but on our way home, she was quiet.
As soon as we got home, she changed into her jammies, laid down on the couch, did not even eat any dinner and went to sleep. She now I know that she really didn't feel good and I still made her go to her game. Not my proudest moment:(
And it all still makes me so very tired!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Some Drama, Big Reward
After days of hand-wringing, negotiating over song choices, looking for a costume (thankfully already appropriate in the mind of the wearer) - the big "Try Out" day came and McKenna made the Syre Elementary Talent Show!!
She settled on the Keke Palmer song "It's My Turn Now" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vao13M-NqJ8 (thanks K for steering both of us to a great alternative to Beyonce!), and a costume that includes everyday wear - a black plain t-shirt, red/black/white plaid skort and red tights.
This whole experience has been a bit dramatic and all for 1.5 minutes of 'fame'. She originally wanted to dance with her best friend to the Beyonce song "Irreplaceable" (see post below). When her friend backed out because her Mom encouraged her to focus on the ice skating dance routine and competition coming her way, McKenna was decidedly bummed. But she is persistent when she wants to do something and so she tried to recruit other friends, even announcing at one point that she was going to do a routine with her worst enemy - that's how badly she wanted to get in the talent show. When I pointed out that doing things with others would require compromise on songs, dance moves and practice time that was already disastrously short, she agreed that this year would be the year for her to do this on her own.
So a song was picked, the computer set to the YouTube video, the lyrics printed out, a CD made and the karaoke machine set up in the living room with space to dance and the speakers to hear it well. Practices were morning, noon and night ... before and after school and even her best friend helped her practice during recess. She learned the lyrics quickly and was able to belt out the whole thing on her own in just a couple of days. The dance moves came naturally and with the help of her entertainer dad, a performance was born.
The night before the try outs, her dad was working late and wasn't able to practice with her and motivate her most energetic self. She needs me for many things, but this time she really wanted and needed her dad. So fear and doubt set in and in a tearful confession she told me that she wasn't going to participate in the try outs. At this point, the pragmatic me set in and reminded her of all she accomplished in such short time, and of the time we've all put into helping her out. Of course I also tried to work in some confidence building and pumping up her self-esteem and after 15 minutes of discussion, she agreed to still consider the possibility. Next morning all was good and Myron promised he'd be there to cheer her on.
As luck would have it, one of his really good client's called for a gig that would not allow him to attend the try outs. I would have to be the one to tell her when I picked her up and walked her to the gym. I would rather have faced a pack of rabid wolves than have to tell her that bad news - I knew the horrible disappointment that she was going to be feeling. And I was afraid I wouldn't sound as empathetic as I would need to because Myron's work schedule also really messed up a super busy and stressful family schedule - Mac's POM class directly after try outs, Julian's baseball practice at 5 and then a Birds & Bees class for Myron and I that evening back at the school. Now all of this squarely on my shoulders. I put on my Supermom uniform and set off to do what I had to do (feeling guilty to be leaving work early with a pile of deadline projects on my desk and having to cancel my participation in the Finance Committee's regularly scheduled meeting).
I did manage to pick up Julian, stop at home for the costume, camera, water bottles, snacks and music, make it to the school on time to take her to the gym, call Myron on the cell and have her talk to him for a pep talk and turn the cell off to ward off last minute work calls. I had the camera at the ready for the big moment. She was nervous but sat with the rest of the girls and boys, listened to the directions and we watched a few people go through their try outs before Mac's name was finally called. She bravely gave them her music and then came over the me, crouched down and I heard those words: "Mom, I can't do this. I am too afraid. I really don't think I can do this." The teacher was calling for her to start and I had to come up with something to say. I reminded her that she worked really hard and that she was sure to make it if she did her best. That she would definitely NOT make it if she didn't try and to think of her dad being at the back of the room doing this with her. I also told her to do the Sharpay trick (High Shool Musical) which made her smile. She took a deep breath and walk to the middle of the gym. The music started, she struck her pose and went for it! She didn't freeze, she sang 'loud and proud" and when they thanked her the relief and pride was visible, SHE DID IT!!
I prompted her to ask the teacher when she would find out if she'd made it and she was told on the spot "Congratulations! You made it!" She was practically jumping out of her skin with excitement. And of course I was so proud of her, too. I know how much this will help her confidence. So look for video to be posted around May 30th to see how things actually turn out. I'm sure there will be more afraid moments in the next couple of weeks, but not nearly as strong. She set a goal, worked hard to make it good, followed through and achieved what she wanted. It's all good from here, right?!?
She settled on the Keke Palmer song "It's My Turn Now" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vao13M-NqJ8 (thanks K for steering both of us to a great alternative to Beyonce!), and a costume that includes everyday wear - a black plain t-shirt, red/black/white plaid skort and red tights.
This whole experience has been a bit dramatic and all for 1.5 minutes of 'fame'. She originally wanted to dance with her best friend to the Beyonce song "Irreplaceable" (see post below). When her friend backed out because her Mom encouraged her to focus on the ice skating dance routine and competition coming her way, McKenna was decidedly bummed. But she is persistent when she wants to do something and so she tried to recruit other friends, even announcing at one point that she was going to do a routine with her worst enemy - that's how badly she wanted to get in the talent show. When I pointed out that doing things with others would require compromise on songs, dance moves and practice time that was already disastrously short, she agreed that this year would be the year for her to do this on her own.
So a song was picked, the computer set to the YouTube video, the lyrics printed out, a CD made and the karaoke machine set up in the living room with space to dance and the speakers to hear it well. Practices were morning, noon and night ... before and after school and even her best friend helped her practice during recess. She learned the lyrics quickly and was able to belt out the whole thing on her own in just a couple of days. The dance moves came naturally and with the help of her entertainer dad, a performance was born.
The night before the try outs, her dad was working late and wasn't able to practice with her and motivate her most energetic self. She needs me for many things, but this time she really wanted and needed her dad. So fear and doubt set in and in a tearful confession she told me that she wasn't going to participate in the try outs. At this point, the pragmatic me set in and reminded her of all she accomplished in such short time, and of the time we've all put into helping her out. Of course I also tried to work in some confidence building and pumping up her self-esteem and after 15 minutes of discussion, she agreed to still consider the possibility. Next morning all was good and Myron promised he'd be there to cheer her on.
As luck would have it, one of his really good client's called for a gig that would not allow him to attend the try outs. I would have to be the one to tell her when I picked her up and walked her to the gym. I would rather have faced a pack of rabid wolves than have to tell her that bad news - I knew the horrible disappointment that she was going to be feeling. And I was afraid I wouldn't sound as empathetic as I would need to because Myron's work schedule also really messed up a super busy and stressful family schedule - Mac's POM class directly after try outs, Julian's baseball practice at 5 and then a Birds & Bees class for Myron and I that evening back at the school. Now all of this squarely on my shoulders. I put on my Supermom uniform and set off to do what I had to do (feeling guilty to be leaving work early with a pile of deadline projects on my desk and having to cancel my participation in the Finance Committee's regularly scheduled meeting).
I did manage to pick up Julian, stop at home for the costume, camera, water bottles, snacks and music, make it to the school on time to take her to the gym, call Myron on the cell and have her talk to him for a pep talk and turn the cell off to ward off last minute work calls. I had the camera at the ready for the big moment. She was nervous but sat with the rest of the girls and boys, listened to the directions and we watched a few people go through their try outs before Mac's name was finally called. She bravely gave them her music and then came over the me, crouched down and I heard those words: "Mom, I can't do this. I am too afraid. I really don't think I can do this." The teacher was calling for her to start and I had to come up with something to say. I reminded her that she worked really hard and that she was sure to make it if she did her best. That she would definitely NOT make it if she didn't try and to think of her dad being at the back of the room doing this with her. I also told her to do the Sharpay trick (High Shool Musical) which made her smile. She took a deep breath and walk to the middle of the gym. The music started, she struck her pose and went for it! She didn't freeze, she sang 'loud and proud" and when they thanked her the relief and pride was visible, SHE DID IT!!
I prompted her to ask the teacher when she would find out if she'd made it and she was told on the spot "Congratulations! You made it!" She was practically jumping out of her skin with excitement. And of course I was so proud of her, too. I know how much this will help her confidence. So look for video to be posted around May 30th to see how things actually turn out. I'm sure there will be more afraid moments in the next couple of weeks, but not nearly as strong. She set a goal, worked hard to make it good, followed through and achieved what she wanted. It's all good from here, right?!?
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Help - Need Some Perspective
OK Mom friends. I really need some perspective here. McKenna wants to enter the school talent show. And for that I'm thrilled. She's not generally one to want to be in the limelight, but she really feels she could do well and I want so badly to encourage this for her.
My dilemma - she wants to sing to Beyonce's Irreplaceable http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsQvXgCcng8 (she's never seen the video) and dance to the same song with her friend. I don't believe that she will survive the first audition, but I'm even wondering if I should let her try out. It's alright for her to sing and dance to our music choices at home, but I really need some perspective from you out there to tell me what you would think of a 7 year old singing this song to her elementary schoolmates. I really tried to get her to find another song, but this has been a favorite for a while, even though she really can't understand the concepts.
So please feel free to tell me like you see it. And if I should nix the idea, any suggestions on what to replace it with? Thanks!
My dilemma - she wants to sing to Beyonce's Irreplaceable http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsQvXgCcng8 (she's never seen the video) and dance to the same song with her friend. I don't believe that she will survive the first audition, but I'm even wondering if I should let her try out. It's alright for her to sing and dance to our music choices at home, but I really need some perspective from you out there to tell me what you would think of a 7 year old singing this song to her elementary schoolmates. I really tried to get her to find another song, but this has been a favorite for a while, even though she really can't understand the concepts.
So please feel free to tell me like you see it. And if I should nix the idea, any suggestions on what to replace it with? Thanks!
Monday, April 7, 2008
I Won The Lottery!!! (my fantasy)
I just won the lottery. It's a big one - multi millions! What a rush. I always thought I'd win something someday... my numbers just had to come up. I've been playing $2 every mega game for just over a year. And in all that time, I'd only won $6, so it was bound to happen.
First thing we did was to consult our financial advisor and then our lawyer. Who knew so many things needed to be figured out before any money is actually handed over. We want to make sure that we don't mess this up. We didn't go public - we don't want many things to change. We also don't need any long lost family or friends - or even close family or friends - to think of us any differently than before.
We started our own company. We are going to work as a family on creative projects, traveling to far away places and experiencing other cultures, other cities, other people. We are going to learn so much and live a life of giving.
I've already started that novel and can't wait to see it published. But I'm taking a sabbitical for a few months - maybe one year. I've splurged on some professional advisors - dietician/ nutritionist, personal trainer, landscape designer, remodel architect. I'm going to spend my days getting my house in order - clean out stuff we don't need and/or use, clean every nook and cranny, find all those things I've been looking for in the last several years. I'll be able to work out daily and get healthier. We'll get together with friends and family more often, go camping and ride bikes on weekends because the chores will all be done during the week. I'm going to be able to take the kids to all their activities and meet the parents of their friends. I will even be able to volunteer in the schools!
We are fulling funding our retirement - no more worries about money running out before our lives do. And the kid's college educations are secure - no more worries about having to get 2nd and 3rd mortgages to pay off student loans.
We have set up a foundation that gives back to our community and we are able to give so much more to organizations in need that we want to support more - the Red Cross, foster children, Center for Missing and Expolited Children, stem cell research, etc.
And yes, we did buy ourselves a couple of toys. Myron tricked out a studio with all the equipment and gear needed for really good production. McKenna and Julian chose to get horses and have them boarded close by. I did get a pair of diamond earrings and a BMW Z4. We upgraded our house a little and have a view of the Sound, we rented out our old house and got a hot tub/pool combo in the backyard ... Love IT!
We allotted some funds to family - a one time deal. Our parents will never have to worry about their affairs, though. We are thrilled to be able to take care of them. We had a few of our close and good friends along on a wonderful cruise vacation in the Caribbean -sun and fun and fabulous lifelong memories. We sent everyone a book of pictures to remember the occasion.
We finally have time to see that counselor and work on our communication. And we can spend more time with the kids, reading and playing games, as well as homework and practicing sports/music, etc.
Money didn't solve all of our problems, but it gives us the freedom from financial burden and freedom of time. And that is they key to our happiness - time with family and friends and our nuclear family. Time to learn and love, time to explore and experience.
First thing we did was to consult our financial advisor and then our lawyer. Who knew so many things needed to be figured out before any money is actually handed over. We want to make sure that we don't mess this up. We didn't go public - we don't want many things to change. We also don't need any long lost family or friends - or even close family or friends - to think of us any differently than before.
We started our own company. We are going to work as a family on creative projects, traveling to far away places and experiencing other cultures, other cities, other people. We are going to learn so much and live a life of giving.
I've already started that novel and can't wait to see it published. But I'm taking a sabbitical for a few months - maybe one year. I've splurged on some professional advisors - dietician/ nutritionist, personal trainer, landscape designer, remodel architect. I'm going to spend my days getting my house in order - clean out stuff we don't need and/or use, clean every nook and cranny, find all those things I've been looking for in the last several years. I'll be able to work out daily and get healthier. We'll get together with friends and family more often, go camping and ride bikes on weekends because the chores will all be done during the week. I'm going to be able to take the kids to all their activities and meet the parents of their friends. I will even be able to volunteer in the schools!
We are fulling funding our retirement - no more worries about money running out before our lives do. And the kid's college educations are secure - no more worries about having to get 2nd and 3rd mortgages to pay off student loans.
We have set up a foundation that gives back to our community and we are able to give so much more to organizations in need that we want to support more - the Red Cross, foster children, Center for Missing and Expolited Children, stem cell research, etc.
And yes, we did buy ourselves a couple of toys. Myron tricked out a studio with all the equipment and gear needed for really good production. McKenna and Julian chose to get horses and have them boarded close by. I did get a pair of diamond earrings and a BMW Z4. We upgraded our house a little and have a view of the Sound, we rented out our old house and got a hot tub/pool combo in the backyard ... Love IT!
We allotted some funds to family - a one time deal. Our parents will never have to worry about their affairs, though. We are thrilled to be able to take care of them. We had a few of our close and good friends along on a wonderful cruise vacation in the Caribbean -sun and fun and fabulous lifelong memories. We sent everyone a book of pictures to remember the occasion.
We finally have time to see that counselor and work on our communication. And we can spend more time with the kids, reading and playing games, as well as homework and practicing sports/music, etc.
Money didn't solve all of our problems, but it gives us the freedom from financial burden and freedom of time. And that is they key to our happiness - time with family and friends and our nuclear family. Time to learn and love, time to explore and experience.
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