Having It All

We all know this one: “You can’t have it all.”  I was talking with a friend on our Halloween walk following the kids last night and I found myself agreeing with her – you can’t really have it *ALL*.  But then I started to think about that and wondered why I couldn’t have it all.  I know that one can’t have something both ways.  For example, one can’t have and not have kids.  One can’t be married and not married.  One can’t be here and there at the same time.  But is what I’m asking for *ALL*?  And if not, why can’t I have it?

The discussion was around travel and how much I missed it vs raising kids to be the strong, confident, smart kids that I seem to have.  Having lived abroad for 10 years and experiencing extensive travel in my childhood and into my 30’s, I was brought up to believe travel was part of our education, of our life experience.  I always knew it wasn’t everyone’s experience and I was always grateful for the opportunities I had, but it was my ‘normal’.  Then I got married, had kids and the travel substantially slowed down even though it’s one of my greatest pleasures.  I mentioned how envious I was that my friend took the time to travel with her close girlfriend for a week in Italy, just the 2 of them, and were later joined by their spouses for one more week.  I have never done that.  For as much international travel as I have done, I have never traveled with a girlfriend.  I am lucky enough to have a mother/former business partner with whom I was able to share great journeys through our work.  But to have the opportunity now that I have kids, husband, mortgages, dog, responsibilities, a business … that’s the stuff my dreams are made of.

The thing is how do I have it all?  How do I get my new business off the ground, manage a family and a household, raise great kids and keep a relationship going?  How do I manage the schedules, the activities, the responsibilities and the tight budget and add all the things I want like travel and time with friends and family?  How do I find time for exercise and date nights, and creating a successful business that will give me the freedom to do a lot?

So I know I can’t have it ALL – I just want all that I want.

The Unofficial New Year

It's the second most stressful day of my year ... the first day of school. Not really for what it is, but what it signifies. It's the 2nd "New Year's Day" - the day when I expect that everything on my to do list will be done and I will have a fresh start. But just like the real deal - it never happens that way. As a matter of fact, just the opposite. So I'm back to my crazy life and nothing has changed for me.

I wish that it was my first day of school, but that I knew everything I know today. Mac started 3rd and Juice is a big Kindergartner! Next year they will both be in the same school and frankly I can't wait. Here they are with great big happy smiles on their first day - they are excited at the new adventures this year will bring and I envy their innocence and giddy excitment.

Juice is the 'poser'. I think he might actually do really well in modeling this year, but he wants to do Tae Kwon Do and basketball.

Mac can't wait to see her best friends - it's been a whole two weeks since they last saw each other after all.

So here's to childhood and their fresh starts. I won't ruin it for them with what real life will be like in 30 years or so!

Reminiscing

I just found some of the kid's baby pictures on my computer archives. Those days seem so far behind, but Juice just turned 5!

To every parent their child is most beautiful and I was completely breathless by mine as well. And just like many parents, I had thoughts that they could possibly start their famous careers early by being in commercials and advertising. So one day Myron and I did a photo shoot with Mac. These are just two of a hundred or so we took that day. And unbelievably, she had a great time almost the entire day.

I learned my lesson though and after one audition (which I can't even remember now) I determined I couldn't take being a stage mom. They rejected her! How could they?!?! So that was a short lived dream.

I didn't even try with Julian, but he was as spitting image of Mac when he was born. As as cute to me as she was.

My kids are still the perfect kids for me and they still make me laugh and smile as much as they did back then!

What I Learned At School Today

I did something today that I wish I did more often - I volunteered at Mac's school for a fun toy-making, science-experiencing project. Rick Hartman (aka Toy Man) spent time at the elementary school working with the 2nd graders making 'gravity people'. The kids had so much fun making their own hammers, then using the hammers to build their toys. Then they spent time experimenting on how to make their 'people' move using gravity, wind, etc. There was an artistic aspect for those who like that and all the kids were really creative in decorating their toys (Mac made basketballs and hoops for hers).

But what I learned is that I really like to help out my kids and their friends with their projects. I smile at their creativity, at they way they get into the project and really try to apply their learning. I don't remember ever being that way. I love the way they get excited when things come together, as if by magic. Each one has such great ideas and they love to share with their friends, neighbors and teachers. It's easy to offer compliments to everyone - they all give their 100% and they have no expectations. And they visibly feel good when they get compliments.

So I keep moving forward with my plans to work fewer hours and spend more time with the kids, taking time to volunteer at their schools and spending time learning about what they are learning. I never thought I'd want to do that, but it really is.

And actually I did learn something very cool - I can balance 6 nails on one - if you don't believe me just ask me to show you - you too will be amazed!

I Love Business Reviews

This has been one hell of a week! I wished it was Friday Monday morning at 8am. But sometimes in the middle of craziness there are moments of levity. One such happened Tuesday night. I picked up Juice (our 4 year old) and after I heard about his day, he sweetly asked me about my day. I told him it had been a hard day, that I had lots of things that needed to be done and that I'd had a meeting that was a little scary at Microsoft - the place he'd been to with me a few weeks ago when he didn't have school and he had to come to work with me - but that I think I did OK in the end. The scary thing I had to do was called a "Business Review". He immediately piped up and said: "I LOVE Business Reviews!"

I had to smile because he was so enthusiastic - never mind that he had no clue what a business review was. I asked him what he liked most about Business Reviews and he said: "Why don't you tell me about yours." So I did. I told him that I had to put together a presentation, with words and pictures, that I had to do a lot of reading and writing to get it right, that I had to use some math to give the people good information. I'd have to do a show and tell of my work in front of many people and I had to answer questions about my work. "I love all of that!" was his comment and I know it was probably true. He's learning to read and write and add and subtract and for a pre-schooler he is pretty darned great at it. He amazes me with all the stuff he knows and learns. I asked him if he wanted to do business reviews when he grows up and he said yes, along with tap dancing, hip hop, playing guitar, playing basketball, etc, etc.

I'm glad I have stories like this to remember .. it makes the hard times a little easier to handle.