A Moment of Reflection on Being Thankful

I love having a holiday to reflect on all the things I've been thankful for all year. Here's what I gave thanks to since last Thanksgiving:

FAMILY
We spent more time with family this year, just like we wanted. Winter wonderland in Chelan - sledding, visiting, roasting hot dogs in the fire pit in the snow, making igloos, hanging with cousins, brothers, sisters and parents. We added new family members (Ali's first Christmas this year!). Camping, giant pumpkin weigh offs and our traditional Chrsitmas Eve made this year so fun. We lost family too last year and will remember Curtis and Greg fondly each holiday season. My nuclear family is so special and I am so thankful for Myron, McKenna and Julian. They are healthy and happy and smart and talented and I love them so very much.

FRIENDS
We also made a point to spend more time with friends and those times were the highlight of our year. Even the most casual get togethers, GNO's, coffee dates, special occasions fed my soul. At the top of my New Year's resolutions list is to get with friends even more in 2009! I am so grateful for all our friends and cherish you all.

PETS
Merlin is almost 11! While his hips are pretty arthritic and painful, he is such a trooper and is otherwise healthy. How wonderful that he is here for yet one more Holiday season. One more season of wearing funny antler head gear while we trim the tree. One more season of a big fat rawhide bone from santa in his very own stocking.

WORK
I could not have asked for a better work environment this year. The RealTime team is such a fabulous team and group of people and even the customers were pretty good. The work is challenging and we had the best year ever. I worked hard but feel like I've contributed and that's what makes my work feel worthwhile.

VOLUNTEER WORK
As much as I complained this year about how overwhelmed and overextended I've been, I am grateful for all the learning and connections I made this last year. I now know where my limits are and that passion cannot be substituted. I know that I must feel connected to the cause I'm representing in order to make a difference and at least feel like I make a difference.

OPPORTUNITY
We finally reached one goal of ours - to expand our investment portfolio by buying an investment rental property. An opportunity to learn more about investing in this area and trying to secure an adequate retirement or college funding. I am grateful that we have the opportunity to do this, that for all the doom and gloom going on that we still can try to reach for that American Dream and see where it takes us. We are grateful for all our opportunities!

VACATIONS
If you know me, you know I LOVE vacations. As we've been blessed to have taken some wonderful trips this last year: Disneyland, Cannon Beach, Mt Rainier, Silverwood. We had so much fun this year and being able to spend my free time with my family is what I look forward in my life most.

THE OBVIOUS
Health, we have enough of the things we need, we give and receive tons of love ... we are truly blessed and I am so thankful for all that I have.

I hope you are as blessed as I am and I wish everyone to have a peaceful, joyful and sparkly Holiday Season.

Do I have time to be thankful or should I just skip right to counting my blessings?

I know I'm not alone on this one ... Christmas is coming too soon! They snuck things out before Halloween and we grumbled. We saw what was coming next and we got really annoyed. But it's not until it hits you full force that you get really ticked off. Christmas sales early (before Thanksgiving), Christmas music all the time on the radio, advertising everywhere you look luring you to spend, spend, spend! And all that started weeks ago.

From where I stand, we're glossing over Thanksgiving and going straight for the big daddy of all commercial holidays. Don't get me wrong, I do love the Holidays, but this year particularly, I need some time to be thankful. Actually, I need time to figure out how to be really truly thankful, to have that genuine gratitude, to know into the depths of my soul that I have it good.

But that is the problem. I can say out loud or to myself that I'm thankful for so much, but there is little feeling attached. There is little feeling attached to anything. I now live mainly in my head and not in my heart. I don't know when or how it happened, but little by little, day by day, I've managed to take the feeling out of life. No high highs, no low lows. And people who know me would probably agree - I am very "even-keeled", predictable, balanced.

You're possibly thinking that I need a shrink, but I've never had any good experiences with any of that type of professional. An undergrad degree in psych cured me of any romanticized ideas I may have had about that. Have you ever felt that if you start something even a little that you might not ever be able to stop it? That's the way I feel about my feelings. If I let a little through, the floodgates will be open and I will waste a lot of time being sad or angry and what I really want is to feel happy and excited about things.

So this season, I'd really like to figure out not what to be thankful for (I can name family, friends, dog, health, etc), but how to be grateful and maybe I'll start down that other scary but worthwhile path - living with feeling.

I wish for you a life full of feeling, things to be grateful for and a great Thanksgiving!

PS. I am really truly grateful for my friends who did read the blog and actually have been so incredibly supportive. Thank you thank you thank you!!